If you’re reading this, you’re probably going through a tough time. Maybe you found out that a married man you cared about hurt you deeply—perhaps by betraying your trust or causing pain in your life. You might be wondering, “Can I sue him for emotional distress?” or, “Is there any legal way to hold him responsible for the hurt he caused?”
This article is here to help you understand your options. We’ll explain what emotional distress means legally, whether you can sue a married man for it, and what you should know if you decide to take legal action. Most importantly, this will help you get clarity about your rights and what to expect.
What is Emotional Distress?
Before we get into whether you can sue, let’s talk about what emotional distress really means.
Emotional distress refers to the mental suffering or anguish someone experiences because of another person’s actions. This can include things like:
- Anxiety
- Depression
- Humiliation
- Sleep problems
- Loss of enjoyment of life
- Physical symptoms caused by stress
You might feel overwhelmed, hurt, or even physically sick because of what happened. Emotional distress is very real—even if you can’t see it like a physical injury.
What Does It Mean to Sue for Emotional Distress?
Suing someone for emotional distress means you’re asking the court to hold them legally responsible for causing you serious mental suffering. If successful, the court may order the person to pay you money (called damages) to compensate for your pain and suffering.
In law, there are two main types of emotional distress claims:
- Intentional Infliction of Emotional Distress (IIED): This is when someone intentionally or recklessly causes you severe emotional suffering by their extreme or outrageous behavior.
- Negligent Infliction of Emotional Distress (NIED): This is when someone causes you emotional distress by careless or negligent actions, even if they didn’t mean to hurt you.
Usually, to sue someone successfully for emotional distress, you need to show that their actions were more than just upsetting—they must be extreme, outrageous, or reckless.
Can You Sue a Married Man for Emotional Distress?
The short answer: It depends on the situation and the laws of your state.
Many people assume that if a married man has caused them emotional pain—maybe through an affair or by hurting them in some way—they can sue him directly for emotional distress. But the reality is more complicated.
1. Lawsuits Against Married Men for Affairs or “Homewrecker” Claims
Some states in the US allow what are called “alienation of affection” or “criminal conversation” lawsuits. These are old legal claims where the spouse of the married person sues a third party (like you) for interfering with their marriage.
- Alienation of Affection: The claim that you caused the loss of love and affection in the marriage.
- Criminal Conversation: The claim that you had sexual relations with the married person during the marriage.
However, these claims are rare and only recognized in a handful of states such as Hawaii, Mississippi, New Mexico, North Carolina, South Dakota, and Utah. Most states have abolished these claims because they are seen as outdated.
2. Emotional Distress Claims Against the Married Man
If you are the spouse or partner who was hurt emotionally because of a married man’s conduct, you might consider suing that man himself for emotional distress.
In theory, yes, you can sue a married man for intentional infliction of emotional distress if you can prove that his conduct was intentional or reckless and caused you severe emotional suffering.
For example, if a married man deliberately lied, humiliated, or manipulated you knowing it would cause you serious mental harm, you may have a claim.
However, winning such a lawsuit can be very challenging because courts require you to prove:
- The man’s conduct was extreme and outrageous, beyond all normal bounds of decency.
- He intended to cause you emotional harm or acted recklessly.
- You suffered severe emotional distress—more than just feeling upset or sad.3. Emotional Distress Claims Against the Spouse of the Married Man
Sometimes, the emotional distress comes not only from the married man but also from his spouse or others involved. Some courts recognize claims like the one seen in Segal v. Lynch, where one spouse sued another for emotional distress caused by alienating the children from the other parent.
But generally, suing the spouse of a married person for emotional distress is more complex and usually must be done in family courts.
Important Legal Hurdles in Suing for Emotional Distress
If you decide to pursue legal action against a married man for emotional distress, you should be aware of some common challenges:
Proving Intentional or Reckless Conduct
You must show that the man acted with the intention to cause you emotional distress, or at least recklessly disregarded the likely harm his actions would cause you.
Simply hurting someone’s feelings or breaking up a relationship isn’t enough. The law expects a very high level of wrongdoing, like harassment, threats, extreme humiliation, or abuse.
Proving Severe Emotional Distress
You need to demonstrate that your distress is serious. Feeling sad or hurt isn’t enough. The distress must be so severe that no reasonable person could be expected to endure it.
Courts often require medical or psychological evidence, such as:
- Therapy or counseling records
- Diagnoses of anxiety or depression
- Testimony from mental health professionals
Statute of Limitations
You have only a limited time after the incident to file a lawsuit—usually between 1 to 3 years depending on your state’s laws.
If you wait too long, your claim can be dismissed regardless of its merits.
What Should You Do If You’re Thinking About Suing?
1. Consider Your Goals
Ask yourself:
- Are you looking for money to compensate for your pain?
- Do you want a sense of justice or closure?
- Are you prepared for a long, emotional legal battle?
Lawsuits can be expensive and stressful. Sometimes, focusing on healing and moving forward may be better.
2. Consult an Experienced Lawyer
An attorney who specializes in family law or personal injury can evaluate your situation.
They will:
- Explain whether you have a valid claim under your state’s laws
- Help you understand the likelihood of success
- Advise you on the best legal strategy
3. Gather Evidence
If you plan to sue, collect evidence like:
- Text messages, emails, or letters showing the man’s conduct
- Witness statements
- Medical or therapy records documenting your emotional distress
4. Take Care of Yourself
Emotional distress takes a toll. Seek support from friends, family, or mental health professionals.
Other Legal Options You Might Consider
If suing for emotional distress is not viable, here are some other legal options that might help:
Divorce or Custody Proceedings
If you are married to the man or his spouse, family courts can address emotional harm in custody or divorce cases.
Restraining Orders
If the married man is harassing or threatening you, you might get a restraining or protective order.
Criminal Charges
If the man’s conduct involved threats, stalking, or physical abuse, criminal charges might be possible.
Final Thoughts
Can you sue a married man for emotional distress? The answer is yes, but only in very specific situations. The law sets a high bar to prove that the man’s actions were extreme, intentional, and caused you severe emotional harm.
If you’ve been deeply hurt, it’s natural to want justice. But suing can be complicated and emotionally draining. Before deciding, talk to a lawyer who can help you understand your rights and the best path forward.
Remember, your healing is just as important as any legal action. Support, self-care, and professional help can make a big difference in your recovery.
You don’t have to face this alone.